This post took me weeks to complete because there were too many distractions eg work, work and work. Haha! Okay! I shall stop using work as an excuse lah! I guess lately I am experiencing some mind-block
However sad I was, I realized I could not cry.
Since Time is so priceless, I should not waste it on crying over spill milk. Instead, I should use it to think if there is any way to turn the table around. Yes, it seems impossible but this does not stop me from fighting on. I will not give up until I tried every possible way. Until I had done my best, I cannot give up.
Recently, coincidentally there were alot of events which triggered me to feel nostalgic. Last few weeks, I caught up with friends whom I knew at different stages of my life 10-20 years ago. Then recently I watched Alice in Wonderland 2 - Looking through the Glass and attended Sammi Cheng's concert at RWS. Even watching "Finding Dory" gave me some new insights about my life.
I guess it is liked a ten-yearly taking stick session? And I hadn't been taking stock for 20 years? Sad to say, I had wasted 10 years of my life wondering why I am unable to be in my "dream job" and wasted my recent few years feeling lousy about myself.
I am definitely happier than before now. So many of my friends were saying "though I am not sure what you do at work but I definitely can see you areso much happier these days because it is all written over your face and you have this happy aura around you. Yeah, I know. This is me, if u bother to, u will definitely be able to read me like a book. My aura cannot lie! Haha!
But sometimes I do still feel a bit sad and wish to whine a little. But well, just a little lah! If I feel nothing then I am not me already k?
One of my old friends reminded me that I should count how many ticks are in my bucket list and not hold on to the list of 遗憾 which I did not managed to achieve. Some things are meant to be. I might not be happier even if I have these things because I meant to be happier without them.
I learnt from Alice in Wonderland that we cannot undo what has been done but we can always learn something from the past. As long as we know what went wrong and the reasons that caused the wrong, then we can ensure history does not repeat itself. And we will treasure what we have now since we know it did not come easy.
As I watched Sammi Cheng's concert and listened to the "old songs" she sang, I suddenly had alot of flashbacks. I realized I grew up watching her HK romance comedies. She was always the Cinderella in the various movies, who later met up with her "prince charming" and they would overcome all the challenges before they lived happily ever after.
This reminds me of the Taiwanese movie I watched few months back.
I too have found my knight who is willing to forgive my every mistake and accept me to be who I am.
I too have gradually regained my lost "voice" and confidence. Similarly to the female lead actress who had became "seasoned" by the harsh working society, I had became rather quiet and disillusioned over the years. Though I am still relatively "quiet", compared to the me in my school days, I now dare to voice out my opinions again because there are audience who take what I say more seriously.
