Jamie's Two Year Old Birthday Bash - Almost Done

Finally I got all the items I ordered online~!!!

Just two weeks more to Jamie's birthday!!!

The cake toppers were sent to the bakery already and the balloons decoration had been ordered! Will confirm the catering by end of this week.

Oh ya! Need to change Jamie's school birthday cake timing! Going to the zoo with Jamie and her classmates in the morning on 11 Nov 2011 and having her birthday celebration at school in the afternoon after their naptime :) So exciting! I always love the little ones from her class and I think they love me too coz they like to dash into my arms and asked me to hug them ^^

Still not feeling very well, so gona stop here ^^

Chat again soon :)

Sick Again...

Lately, I had been falling sick quite frequently :(

I wonder if it's the stress or I am just 'getting old'...

Sighh...

Looking at my workload.. this two days of MC seems like a luxury...

Can't imagine going back to work tomorrow :(

Well well, let me TRY to do some work since I brought my laptop home...

So Angry...

So Angry...

Had waited for 3 days and yet to hear from the bakery.. I had so much faith in it all along and even speak good words for it in its facebook. But what did I get in return?

I understand, maybe the staff who served me could be out of town but I believe there should be someone covering her/him...

I have two cakes yet to confirm the orders!!! OMG... what should I do?!! If I don't hear from it by Monday, I am going to post a complaint on its FB and then change a baker!!!

Late Nights...

*Yawn*

Been sleeping really late these days...

No, I stopped bringing work home because I realised I cannot work from home. So instead of feeling bad over the pile of work I brought home and spoilt my weekday nights and weekends, I decided to just try to finish whatever I can at work and head home with only one intention = spend more time with my family members.

So what have I been busy about?

Well, Jamie's birthday parties lor!

Though there aren't much to worry about for Jamie's school party (for this year at least) since we will only be buying a cake and preparing the goodie bags. However, there is always the concerns on cake toppers. Hmm.. I have two sets of mickey cake toppers but am worried Jamie will keep looking for the set she had been playing with. So may have to get another set for the party. Let's hope she continues to be Mickey's big fan for a few more years so I can recycle the toppers a few more timse :P

Okies, as far.. after ALL the late nights and panda eyes... these are the status of her parties preparation:

1. ordered both cakes but waiting for the confirmation slip. Both from pine gardens.. will show u the photos of the cakes i ordered when i get home tonite..
2. bought 90% of the goodie bags, and party stuffs
3. ordered the remaining 5% online liao, waiting for delivery
4. ordered the 25 cupcakes n made payment le..
5. decided on the tentative sunny and rainy day programmes

I am only left with:
1. 5% of the party stuffs
2. the layout of the place

All the Way! All the Way! GOOOOOOOOO~~~~~

Jamie's Two Year Old Birthday Bash - Food and Activities

Sometimes I also wonder if I am just creating too much stress for myself, by hoping to do so much for Jamie's birthday each year.

It seems to be my biggest event of the year instead of Jamie's.

However, it's really fun to go through the planning over and over again... And it's fun to always have something to look forward to every year :D

We are kinda of 'too old' to have birthday parties so now we can only look forward to our children's parties ^^

Love sharing the whole planning and preparing process and Hope this will help those who are planning their little ones'parties too ^^

Let's start with the planning of the food and activities...

Sunny Day Programme
10.30am: Arrival of Guests with children
10.30am - 11.30am: Free and Easy Big Splash Time
11.30am - 12.15pm: Wash Up and Dress for the Party
12.15pm - 12.45pm: Cupcake Making
12.45pm - 1.45pm: Lunch Time
1.45pm - 2.00pm: (Optional) Party Cone Deco
2.00pm - 2.30pm: Cake Cutting
2.30pm: Home Sweet Home or (Optional) Big Splash Part 2

Rainy Day Programme
10.30am: Arrival of Guests with children
10.30am - 11.00am:: Party Cone Deco
11.00am - 11.30am:: To be confirmed
11.30am - 12.00pm: Games
12.00pm - 12.30pm: Cupcake Making
12.30pm - 1.30pm: Lunch Time
1.30pm - 2.00pm: Cake Cutting
2.00pm: Home Sweet Home or (Optional) Big Splash (if weather permits)

Food as far had been confirmed to be 60 pax until 1 week from the event.

Had always been ordering from Elsie Kitchen (Halal) but the last round was kinda of disappointing for my house warming. I tried Meihao99 during a block party in August 2011 and thought it was really good. Hence I decided to give it a try for Jamie's birthday. But the only pity was, it was not halal...

Now is Cake...

By the way, Jamie is having two parties these year. One is for her school on her exact birthday 11 November 2011 and the other is on 13 November 2011 and will be at my brother's condo function room. Really thankful for my brother and da sao for helping me booked the function room.

Back to the Cake. As usual, the cakes will be from Pine Garden. And I will be trying some new favours this round. Have to say Citrus Drops and Lychee Martini was great the last year. This year, we should be having Citrus Drops and Fresh Strawberry for school and Hazelnut Chocolate and Fresh Strawberry for home party :)

Cake designs have to be kept as a secret till after the event :P Now to search for the cake toppers... Had a set for one cake but may need to get another set for the other cake :D

So exciting now that I bought 90% of the goody bags items + order catering, tentatively confirm the programme/activity and tentatively confirm the cake orders.

More to go and yet I am loving it ^^

Dementia...

Seriously I think I am having some form of dementia...

My memory span seems to get shorter as the days go by...

I can no longer remember what I do more than 2 days ago...

I tend to be very forgetful when comes to bring things home or around...

Nowadays I need to immediate attend to a task so as not to end up forgetting to do it altogether...

Really sad over it...

Is it coz of the side effects of C-section? Or is it just because my age is catching up on me?

Jamie's Two Year Old Birthday Bash

Compared to last year, I am way out of schedule in the planning of Jamie's 2nd year birthday party.

But I am soooooo glad that I finally confirmed on the birthday bash venue.

Thank you to my brother and da sao for helping me to book their condo function room on 13 November from 10am to 3pm. I am now currently confirming the guestlist and programme schedule for the day.

Cakes? Yes, I am waiting to browse the catalogue for Pine Gardens. The cake we had last year was awesome!!! And hence, we are ordering from them again this year!

What's more, this year Jamie can celebrate both in school, at home and in a party!!! So there are lots more planning and coordinating to do...

Wanted to order the cupcake tiers but then it's WAY out of my budget for this year. The renovation drained us and hence I think we should reconsider about splashing the cash away again. Jamie's birthday bash is definitely very important to us! But I believe there are cheaper alternatives.

Hope to share more on my planning ;D

Lets see her pretty cake for last year...

Racing with the Time...

I realised these days I like to pack all my weekends with various schedules to feel fruitful.

Example, just last Sunday alone I did the following:
1. Brought Jamie to the clinic to have her vaccination + my helper to do her 6-monthly medical examination.
2. Bought the reserved shower head from Punggol Plaza
3. Shopping at Sengkang Plaza for stationeries, recipe books and groceries etc
4. Dropped the shopping bags at home
5. Visited my in-laws for dinner

It seemed that these days weekends were never enough for a good rest because I want to do so many things too apart from resting...

However, the funny thing is, I don't feel upset having to run all these 'errands' or need to pack the weekends. In fact, I feel fruitful, happy and efficient.

And you know what? Just yesterday, I felt so sad towards my 'commitment' to Jamie. I felt I was not spending enough time with her. I asked myself why should I feel upset about spending time with her, instead of looking at the piles of work I brought home everyday. I have no issues about the piles of work. I have issues about my mindset towards spending time with Jamie.

Once again, I wonder if I am a good mother. If being at home means I am there for her? I know in my heart, I never felt my mother was there for me when I was young, though she was a housewife.

I remembered seeing Jamie ran to me and gave me super big hugs these days when she saw me coming home from work. It followed by her dancing to tunes from her new 'laptop'. She was even happy with just lying on my laps and watching TV with me. These were all that she asked for. And I had in my mind when she would go to sleep so I can do some work. I did not get to do any work so far at home, at least not the productive kind of work.

I held her hands tight last night, looking at her sleeping face. I told myself I want to give Jamie more than my mother had given me. Not just being physically around means I am there for her. I must too have in my mind that I am ever ready to just sit down with Jamie, sing with her, dance with her or just lie down and watch TV with her whenever she comes to me happily.

I felt guilty again that my helper had to carry her off when she 'disturbed' me looking for her birthday cakes online. It was really a stupid thing to do right? I should have just spend time with her and source for all these things when she fell asleep... What's the point of throwing her the best party in the world, when she could not get the little attention from me everyday. I feel guilty towards her. But cannot help it to hope I have more personal time and that I wish that she can understand I need to be alone to source for her party items...

I told myself again that Jamie will never appreciate the birthday party I organised or the toys I bought for her, if I don't even spend enough time with her daily... I have to try really hard to remind myself over and over again... Otherwise, I am going to create another person who is low self-esteem, always feel unloved by the mother, doubts her own capabilities and always yearning for recognition from others etc...

I really don't want that to happen...

Arrival of the Terrible Twos

2 more months to Jamie's Two Year old party and I had yet planned anything!!!

Think this year will be something simple:
1. 5-7 Nov Long weekends: Family trip
2. 11 Nov: Celebration of Jamie's actual birthday in school and at inlaws house
3. 13 Nov: Playdate cum Birthday Party

Ermmm, I know it does not look very simple. But then, Jamie's birthday party will definitely not be as big scale as her First Birthday Party.

Apologize to all those who will not be included in the invitation list.

This round, only friends/relatives with children and close single/married (without kids) friends will be invited for her birthday party.

This is to allow friends/relatives who do not enjoy children's parties to reject the invitation too. So please let me know too if you will not wish to be included in the invitation list ^^

Venue for the birthday party had yet to be confirmed. Hoping to book the function room at my brother's place but the booking is subjected to availability. Since Jamie loves to swim, I had thought it will be fun for Jamie to have a swimdate cum birthday party with all her cousins and friends ^^ However, if the function room is out, then we need to find other alternative like a chalet with swimming pool etc or simply make do with a simple party at home.

Anyhow, it's time to start searching for nice birthday cakes for her school celebration and her birthday party ^^ And goodie bags too!!! OMG~

Take a look at how pretty and capable my Jamie has become :)

Picture 1: She is not afraid of big dogs even at close proximity
Picture 2: She loves to swim hence she loves dolphins too
Picture 3: She helped her Baba to assemble her new table and chairs!!!

To Help Or Not To Help...

Sometimes, I really wonder whether we are helping the right people.

It seems that those who really need help, don't seem to be coming forward. It's either they refused to admit that they need help or they do not know the avenues to do so.

And the most shocking thing is, there may be people involved who know exactly what happened, but the fear of losing the placement or the job, hindered their conscience calls...

It's really sad to realise what the whole has become.

On one hand, there are cries for justice that we are not hearing from the ground. On the other hand, those who really need help prefer not to be helped / do not wish to rely on others' 'mercy' / ignorant of the avenues to request for help / fear of the consequences hence refused to step forward to ask for help.

It's really impossible to try to please everyone.

I guess if we intend to add value in others' lives, we should do it unconditionally. We should not have wished for 'thanks'. However, we cannot help but wish we are 'rewarded' with some form of appreciation whenever we resolved an issue/concern. After all, being in the front line is not easy. Many a time, we may even become the punching bag of those who are simply not happy with the 'system'.

I had been trying very hard to think positively and to see every setback as a new challenge to resolve. This ensures that I have the emotional strength and spiritual energy to face the oncoming waves........So far so good :D

Jiayou~~~

Jamie goes to School...

Jamie had since started school for 1 month. These days she no longer cries when I dropped her in school. And she seems to be learning lots of new things everyday! Most importantly... She can say so many more words now!

She will tell me she needs the 'towel' and 'diaper' for the bath.

She will also ask me 'Mic Mic go where' when she cannot find her Mickey Mouse.

There was one day she called my colleague's daughter by her name - Lycia... The other day she will try to express in a paragraph of baby language...

It was amusing to watch and listen to Jamie everyday :)

Sometimes I cannot help but feel a bit sad as I am now kinda of redundant. She no longer needs me for the essential chores. And now she does not need me to explore 'new lands' either. I have to find new roles to play in Jamie's life again. Sometimes I secretly feel I should take back my rights as a mother and take charge of Jamie fully again like when I had not started working :(

Sighh...

But well, I do not regret sending Jamie to school at such a young age. I feel that now she understands social norm more than children who undergo home-parenting till N2. Only when she learns to socialise and learns to understand there are some things that just don't seem right, she can start to be more conscious about what she does and says.

Of coz, some parents will feel there is no need to let Jamie be so conscious about her words and actions at such a young age, otherwise she may become too predictable.

I guess no matter what we do for the children, there must always be moderation and a morale of the story behind. Only then the children can understand adults' real intent and rationale behind a certain rule adults set.

House Warming... (09072011)

First of all, I will like to thank everyone who attended my house warming on 9th July 2011 (Saturday)!!!

I understand that Saturdays are really precious to many and hence all the more, I appreciate everyone who reserved their special Saturday to share our joy in our new nest :)

Thank you once again!!!

And for friends who did not managed to make time last Saturday but still like to visit us, feel free to drop us an email/SMS or phonecall to let us know when you are dropping by :) We love playing host and Welcome visitors :D Jamie loves playmates too!!!

Thanks for all the gifts too :D We really like them very much and will make effective use of them :D

Too many photos to share le :P Please browse from my Facebook instead :D

Trying to cope...

I had thought moving into a new place will give me more peace. But I guess I was not ready for the series of changes, new adjustments, unexpected illnesses and increase in household expenses.

I finally realised why we should salute housewives. I think they 'work' as hard as any one of us out there in the office as they do at home. Not only there are tonnes of repeated housework to be done daily, there are also lots of hair-dropping issues to think about = Where to get the cheaper groceries, What to cook tonight and How to save electricity and gas?

We never had to worry about all these before we settled into our new nest. It was as easy as giving a lumpsum alowance to my MIL and leaving the rest of the calculations to her. But now, we have to do the calculations ourselves. And the amount is getting bigger everyday :(

I guess soon, and I really mean very soon, I need to start making the choices, what I have to save on and what I cannot...

But of coz we are much more fortunate than many so we really should not complain. We have a good helper who cooks well and loves Jamie ALOT. So we can continue to have our couplehood and social life. Though there aren't many amenities around, but we have at least a sheng siong and a 24hr coffee shop that serves good food, a bakery, a hair salon, a DIY shop and a clinic. NTUC and Popular is also reachable by LRT now. But of coz I will appreciate the Punggol Central and Bigger shopping malls are setup faster than planned. As we get more crowded in Punggol, I forsee the patience of the Punggolians will drop further...

But many will tell me, that's the 'speciality' about living in Punggol. It's a quiet and youthful estate, unlike the cluttered mature estates... But of coz after living in a kampong style Yishun that has Chong Pang Market just 5min walk away for 20+ yrs + another 2+ yrs in the all accessible Bishan, I really need more time to get used to living in a non-happening and ulu Punggol lolz...

However, I am grateful I have great neighbours and the neighbourhood is brightly lit. I will appreciate there are less irresponsible investors who rent their new homes to foreigners though... Please think about the safety of others too, especially those with young children...

Other than us trying to adjust ourselves, I can see Jamie's frustration and stress too. So much so she fell badly ill. Her fever had been going up and down like roller coaster, however she looked perfectly sober and active. I can only think that she is fighting her own anxiety in her own ways... It's really not easy for a little child like her having to go through the change of a new home and a strange place called school...

Having to cope with insecurity and fear of being left behind is really not easy. I feel really guilty to put her through all these. But my hubby thought this can make Jamie stronger if she can adapt to it faster than expected. However, she is just a young child.. I really hope I am not doing the wrong thing...

I guess other than ourselves and Jamie, my poor helper had a hard time coping in the new home too. The chores are never the same now in the new home because the materials the house is made of and the design is different from my MIL. My MIL doesnt have a built-in stove or hood. She doesnt have kitchen cabinet or vanity. So it's all new to both me and my helper. We are thankful that our design Sean is willing to go through the hassle to teach me how to maintain all these materials in the house. Thanks Sean!!!

He is really a trustworthy and reliable ID who is more than an ID to us now! He is now our friend too!!! And I always to joke about how my hubby will be nagged by Sean for 'destroying' his design concepts of the TV consoles by messying it up with cable wires :P

I guess I feel better already talking about all these stress... Though it takes time to adapt and adjust, I believe we can do it de :D And we can do it well.. building and maintaining and protecting our very own nest...

Movie Review - Xmen First Class

If you are a Xmen or/and Marvel fan, this movie is not to be missed!

It kinda of sum up all the Xmen's series together, telling us how did everything come about:
- How did Prof X and Magneto come about?
- How did the two of them fall apart?
- How did Prof X became handicapped though he seemed so powerful?

And many other questions that popped up in our heads every now and then as we watched the Xmen series.

Like the part wheh Hugh Jackman came on screen as Wolverine. The whole cinema was like screaming uncontrollably!!! OMG... And I did as well~ But pity he did not join the team this early.

Was pretty shocked to know that Prof X was such a flirt in his younger days, using his powers to woo and please girls in the pub. Was surprised to know that Mystic actually likes Prof X initially and what made her turn towards Magneto eventually.

Understood why Magneto was so bitter about humans. It all boiled down to a bad childhood and loneliness and fear of non-acceptance created by the human race. Though its cruel, but we had to admit few humans will acknowledge even the same kind from another country, not to mention a different kind. However, we need to sympathised with most who are fear of the unknown.

It was really sad to see the Mutants fall apart... Afterall, they only have each other. This scene is such a trademark. I cannot but be reminded when the two mutant seniors were allies and great friends.



The actions were great though some may hope for more graphics.

I was shocked to see Hank there in human form. He was so different from the Hank in the Xmen series. He was unable to even accept himself in this drama. The Hank who became the mutant diplomat in the ministry was so much more confident.

After watching this movie, I feel like watching Xmen series all over again...

New House Almost Ready!!!

Past few weekends had always been about the new house.

Am really happy and grateful to my ID who rushed the work for us so as to meet our targeted dateline. But seriously looking at the amount of work to be done, we are really surprise he could complete the reno in less than a month. Most importantly, the job was really well done :D

We really like what we see...

THE RENOVATION PROGRESS

We took 2-3 weeks to confirm the reno design because we went on a short trip during the Labour Day long weekend plus we took some time to think through about the ceiling design to achieve the ambience we want.


17/05/2011 (Tues)
1. Confirm reno design, materials and colours

19/05/2011 (Thur)
1. Measurement for carpentry works
2. Fabrication started in the back end after the measurement

21/05/2011 (Saturday)
1. Bought sink, stove, hood, taps, toilet accessories etc
2. Bought all lights and ceiling fans

23/05/2011 (Mon) to 27/05/2011 (Fri)
1. All Wet Works are done (kitchen base, washing machine base, bathroom kerb etc)
2. All Ceiling Works (living room, dining room and master bedroom)
3. All Painting
4. Acid Wash
5. All Electrical Works and Piping Works
6. Select the grilles and wallpaper we want.
7. Vanity overhead panel

















30/05/2011 (Mon) to 03/06/2011 (Fri)
1. All Carpentry done - kitchen cabinet, master bedroom wardrobe, master toilet vanity, living room cardboard, bomb shelter, bay window, tv console in living room and master bedroom.
2. All Lights up and working
3. Bought roller blinds for 3 bedrooms
4. Aircon installation
5. All Ceiling Fans installation





















Seems that the house is all ready for move in?

Just a bit more till the official move-in date :D

1. Wallpaper for living room and master bedroom
2. Rubber lamination for 3 bedroom
3. Windows and grills for service balcony
4. Grilles for 3 bedrooms and living room
5. Mounting the top layers of the kitchen cabinet and vanity cabinet in master bathroom
6. Installing of stove and hood
7. Installing of sink pipes and taps
8. Paint touch-up
9. Buy basic electrical appliances like rice cooker, electrical flask
10. Buy basic utensils and cutleries

So looking forward to see everything done next week :D

Jamie going to School

Yes. I finally made up my mind.

I guess this will be the best arrangement.

I need not worry what if there isn't any placement before next March. And I don't need to spend too much time to shop for a 'good' centre.

I guess there isn't any perfect centre anywhere. However, they are just trying to make a living, at the same time using their beliefs to educate the children and assist in their character development.

I won't say the choice I made is THE BEST but I heard it's branded. Of coz, the staff's rate is one of the reason too. But the most important thing is, it's not only regulated by law, it is also regulated by my own employer(s).

It's not easy to make this decision. Afterall, I heard too many horror stories. However, I just feel it's time for Jamie to grow up and stop thinking she is always a baby.

Seriously, sometimes I hope she can continue to believe she is always a helpless baby. However, she needs to grow up. At 18mths, she cannot even be bothered to hold her own milk bottle. My helper loves her too much to scold her. I love her even more. Thus it will be good to let her learn from the other children.

It will be good for her to learn how to socialise too. It should still be a few more years before I decide to close factory or have another child. She has to learn how to care and share from somewhere else in the meantime.

I really hope I won't be like those paranoid parents whom I spoke to before.

But I guess it's normal to be anxious and worried about Jamie's well-being :P

I will be making the startup payment = registration fees + 1 mth deposit + 2 wks prorated fees + registration fees + insurance fees etc on 6 June 2011. Jamie will get a chance to have a look at the school.

15 June will be her first day of school. I will accompany her for the first 3 days in school. After which, I will ask Pyone to spy for another two days before we entrust her to the teachers.

Hard Truths that Wakes the Giant...

Many will feel that hard truths are something we should prefer not to know. Sometimes I feel that way too. However, being able to feel the pain is better than feeling nothing at all about it anymore.

After feeling upset over it for so many years, I finally know the answer. I finally know what I had thought had happened, did happen.

For those who are still guessing what I am talking about, guess not. Because I will not want to talk about it anymore. I am happy to know the answer that kept me sleepless over the years.

And yes, I cried very hard over it before. I still fear for the worst. I still fear the history will repeat itself. I fear all efforts will be gone to the drain because of this stain.

I keep telling myself that I have to be extra grateful and thankful for this second chance. It did not come easy. It came because of many efforts from people who still believe in me.

Thank you all my friends who still have faith in me and believe in me. Thank you very much! I will not let your efforts and prayers gone to waste.

I will keep working hard till the last second from the verdict.

Only two months and I feel belonged and loved by my new comrades...

Please let me stay here for good...

Please...

Jamie at 18mths...

At 18mths, it has come the time to decide when is the right time for her to start school.

Many believes it will help speed up her language learning and increase her independence, hence picking up more self-help or even survival skills. However looking at how little she looks at 78cm tall and weighing 10.3kg, I can't help but still feel she is a baby.

I sometimes wonder if I m too protective or that ironically my new job has left me more worrisome of my Precious' well-being among a group of strangers.

What's more, is she ready to learn about what's right from wrong? I learn seeing her smile in her amiable or even cheeky way. Love to observe what's up next in her sleeves too.

She is now a professional copycat, who loves pretending to cook and wash clothes. She starts to love books a little bit more but singing and dancing is still her favorite. She will just sway and dance to any music or if u are lucky, u may hear her humming to the songs too :)

Spinting in A Marathon...

You must be wondering why does one need to spint in a marathon...

Well, sometimes we have to...especially when everyone else is doing so...

It's especially hard for a newbie to keep up with the rest though. Nevertheless, we have to. Especially when this one chance does not come easy.

I really appreciate for being told the truth which I had searched for so many years. Although I am equally helpless even after knowing the truth, I felt that at least now there is fair play. I no longer need to wonder what really went wrong. And I can work hard to improve what is expected of me.

But of coz, no matter how hard I try, I still have to leave to fate to decide what becomes of me when this year ends. However, at least I know I have tried my best and I had fought hard to prove my worth. Be it a good or bad ending, I know I can smile to myself as I move on...

I pray for whoever up there to give me the strength to run on and on... To catch up with the rest... To pace side by side with them. And to feel useful to the team and organisation.

Jiayou~~~

Photos...

Check out the new slide I just put up to display all my DayOuts and Weekends Photos :D

Think this is the best way to share my tonnes and tonnes of photos. Other than from this slide show, you can also check out the rest of my photo albums from Facebook too :D

Meantime, I will try to catch up on my blogging :D

Backlogs

Alamak...

I realised I have ALOT of backlogs to blog about LOLz...

Somehow blogging has become like part of my life already and each time I realised I cannot keep up to blogging about how I feel or what I had been through makes me feel really guilty :(

These are some of the items I owe you all :)

1. Photos and Comments of my Cruise Trip
2. My Many Weekends Outings
3. Jamie and some of her outings with her Buddies
4. Sharing of my last few cooking experiences

Oh My.. That's a lot..

I try to catch up bit by bit k?

Stay Tune :D

又爱又恨.. A mother's struggle...

对于子女的可爱与玩劣,我想很多父母也都是这么想的吧!

Sometimes I really wonder what runs in her little mind.

Is she testing my patience? Or is she just ignorant of her own feelings?
Is she feeling insecure about going to school soon? Or she just needs more attention from me? Is she really mature enough to know everything we say to her? Or is she just guessing? Why is she a monster for a day and an angel for the next few days?

Some tell me that she is getting stickier coz she is approaching her Terrible Two Years but other said she is just insecure about going to school.

Frankly, sometimes I am kinda of lost. And when I am lost, I start reading parenting books to reassure myself. I guess it's never easy to be a mother. And it's even harder to be a good mother.

Sometimes I feel inadequate as a mother. Whenever I feel that way, I will start telling myself one is enough. And yes, that's exactly what I am feeling now. I just feel that I am not adequate as a mother. I mean, no or few mothers can read their children's minds. I don't even think my mother knows what runs in my mind. Or at least what I need. I can only remember I was brought up feeling inadequate. Inadequate in whatever roles I play, whatever work I do or even whatever decisions I made in my life. I was never told that I was good enough for anything or anyone.

I grew up thinking I was just lucky. When I met my hubby, I told myself he was just an angel loaned to me by 'God' (any invisible power up there). It can't be real or it was just too good to be true. I know I sound like a silly girl but yes, I had been and will be worshiping my hubby. I remember during the first few years together, I was so afraid to wake up one day realizing it was just a dream... Haha...

11 years had passed. And it is still like a dream to me.

I guess this is not the way I wish to bring up Jamie. I definitely wish that she can grow up to be a confident young lady who feels good about herself.

That's why I feel it's important for me to feel adequate as a mother. I can't imagine whether she will respect me if she knows her mother has low self-worth.

I need to throw away all my bad childhood memories, bad childhood experiences and start to believe in myself. Even if it was because I am lucky, there must be a certain reason for being 'selected' to be the lucky one.

Not everyone can be lucky enough to stay lucky for this long :)

Start of Renovation - Aircon Trunking and Meeting Contractors/ID

After waiting for close to 3 months, we finally starting our renovation soon.

We were told that Step one was to buy the aircon and do the trunking before we bring the contractors down for site visits.

Before we did the trunking, my very hardworking Laogong went to do all the measurements of the layout we had in mind and placed the adhesive tapes accordingly.



We did the aircon pipe trunking on last Saturday (19 Mar 2011).



Immediately after we did our aircon trunking, we met two contractors on Sunday (20 Mar 2011) for site visits. I did not expect the sessions to be so exhausting. However, it was a good experience.

We did not waste a second. After the sessions with the contractors, we charged to IKEA to shop for furniture ideas. We saw something we really like the moment we started our rounds.

To ensure that the measurements is correct, we went back to the new house to confirm the measurements and headed back to IKEA to make purchase of these few items - 3 seater cum lounge seater cum footstool + dining table + coffee table.





WooHoo!!! So now we only left with buying a fridge and an oven (gotten a free microwave when purchase my sanyo washer cum dryer :P)!!!

We spoke with another three IDs so far and gotten two unsatisfied quotations. Will do the site visits again tomorrow (26 Mar 2011) and hope to hear good news soon from one or more contractor(s)/ID(s).

Poor Jamie had to tahan the dust and follow us along for all these running. However, she also looked like she enjoyed herself, checking out her new room during each visit ^^

My Big Little Girl...

16months and going 17months.

Time really flies.

I guess, everyone is sick of hearing this from me :P

But yes, time really flies...

A month ago, Jamie was still staggering as she walks. Now she is practically running half the time! Sometimes, she even walked on tiptoes!!!

There was once she held on to the sofa and lifted up her legs.

Pyone told me it was because of this cartoon she watched everyday on Disney Playhouse Channel, called Ballerina Angelina.

Ohhh... I watched it a few times on TV before when I was on AL or on MC. I like the cartoon a lot myself because I used to be a dancer too. I didn't know Jamie would pick up those dance steps on TV. But I knew Jamie loves to sing and dance, like myself and my hubby.

These days she would sing to herself even!!!

I guess I will really send her to some performance arts, speech and drama and music or dance classes which she will enjoy a lot. Still observing what are her other interests. Think she loves to draw, so maybe can consider some drawing classes too?

Some of you must be thinking I am crazy. Don't worry, I will enrol her to a trial class first before I decide which to sign her up for. Will only sign her up on those she enjoys and also will only sign her up for one term first to see if it's beneficial or whether she just likes it on impulse.

Most importantly, she must like what she learns. Otherwise, she will either forget those skills or they will just become a white elephant taking up memory space in her brain and also eating into her childhood play hours.

Can't wait to explore more with her :D

Sometimes all these eagerness to give her my all, make me feel dampen about a #2. However, I would not want her to become a pampered and self-centered princess. Guess I will continue to pend on my plan for #2, maybe for another year. Will put her on observation and see how things go.

For now, I am glad that I had finally won her back again!

Seriously, before last week I felt that she really HATEs me for not spending time with her. But just few days back, I felt that she really LOVEs me again. She even chose me to pat her to sleep, when she usually needs Pyone to pat her to sleep. And she would lean really close to me to sleep these days. The funniest thing she did this morning was to pull me towards her when my hubby gave me the usual morning kiss before he headed off to work!!! Haha~ Guess Daddy has become a mummy-snatcher too?!!

I guess it was not easy making that decision. But her positive responsiveness and her love for me had assured me that I made the right choice.

Thank you Jamie, for loving Mummy again :D

再见

又是该说再见的时候了。

朋友问我，说了那么多次再见，应该习惯了吧？

其实不然。

难的不只是该怎么说再见，难的还包括说再见以后该用怎么样的心情再见面。

这次的再见，和以往的不一样。因为彼此都知道我们依然还是会再见面，只是换个方式见面。

但是，我们却没有因为这样而少去了心中的那一份无奈。

其实我十分讨厌说再见，因为说再见是一件很累的事。到了新的地方，还要学习重新适应、学习重新了解周围的人。

但是，每次我都别无选择。

因为我是一个相信缘分的人。 我相信老天爷老早已决定了大家的缘分。我们一辈子所作出的决定与行动都是冥冥中自有安排的。我们该在什么时候出现在哪里、做些什么也都早被安排好了。所以我相信这次的回来又离开，其实是有个重大的意义。我也希望可以继续为了这个重大的意义而做出自己的贡献。

虽然脑里是这么想的，但是要说再见时心中却还是有些许感伤。

值得等

虽然等了很久，但庆幸的是终于让我等到了。。。

也因为等了那么久，所以再等一会儿还是值得的。。。

加油！加油！加油！加油！加油！

为了美好的将来加油、前进吧！

恭喜发财， 新年快乐！！！

祝大家在新的一年里，顺顺利利、万事如意、心想事成！！！

Wishing everyone has all the dreams come true for the Rabbit Year :D

Jamie had lots of fun during this Lunar New Year because she no longer only get to watch all the older cousins walk around. She gets to join them this year too :D

But because she can walk now, she is quite a monster occasionally. And she is very busy, trying to 'help' by transporting the tidbits from one coffee table to the next coffee table. Not only so, she will 'demand' to eat the tidbits too. As it's the new year season, we did not restrict that much of her diet as we thought it would be good for her to learn to eat more food.

Now that she can do with rice, we no longer need to pack porridge when we go out. We just have to ensure she has rice or noodles at the destination for Jamie :D

She had lots of fun playing with the kids this round too. It's really so cute to watch the kids play together... and I really look forward to see all of them grow up together :D











See how pretty my Jamie has grown into too :D Heehee...





May Jamie 快高长大、越大越美丽!!!

Tips for First Year Birthday Bash~!!! (1)

Was trying really hard to write this blog entry earlier on lolz...

And finally I found some inspirations from all the little tigers' and tigress' mummies who had started planning for their little ones' first year birthday bash :D

Today I will share on what to look out for when planning for the First Year Birthday Bash... it's kinda of similar to the planning for the full month celebration but more details to look out for...

1. Party Theme
2. Budget
3. Venue
4. Caterer
5. Number of Guests
6. Party Favors
7. Party Decorations
8. Backup Plan(s)

It was definitely a very stressful process which I went through thinking about Jamie's First Year Birthday Party. However, it was an enjoyable experience too!!! I had a hard time going through the above 7 points before I made decisions. And there were decisions which were made at the last hours (within 7 days from her party). But I was glad everything turned out great!!!

It was raining on Jamie's First Year Birthday Party and there were some guests who flew my kite at the last hour etc. There weren't enough food for those who came after 8.30pm. There weren't enough standing/sitting areas for all the guests due to the rain.

All these imperfections could easily dampen one's spirit. But yet, it was due to these imperfections I realized a lot of things too.

Haha.. I am going to stop here for now :D Share more in the next entry ^^

Happy Lunar New Year ^^

Happy Lunar New Year~!!!

Back to work since Monday.

Was a little sad because somehow I felt that my one week MC was misunderstood as trying to run away from the busy period :( Sigh.. I guess no one wants to be sick. No one enjoys taking those horrible medicine. I rather spent this one week bringing Jamie out everyday, than to be bedridden.

But I have to admit that I was pretty lucky because I still can enjoy part of the previous weekends. However, the feeling of going out when you felt as if you were floating half the time, isn't an enjoyable experience. Even till today, I felt as if I would faint sometimes. Sigh.. When can I fully recover from this horrible illness?!!

I pray that the Rabbit Year will be a healthy year for the whole family = my parent's family (which includes my brother, my da sao and my pretty niece) and my in-law's family (which includes grandma-in-law).

It really hurts to see grandma-in-law coughing so hard. And I felt it was my fault who spread the germs to grandma-in-law. :( And now, even Pyone is a little sick coz she sleeps in the same room with grandma-in-law.

Really hope everyone can recover soon and stays healthy and healthier for the new year... And ^^ Hope it's a better new year for everyone ^^

Counting down to watching the little children play with each other at my grandma's house on chu yi. Hope these little cousins will grow up to love each other :)

Happy Lunar New Year :D

Sicky Mother and Baby...

Was unable to sit up most of the time until today.

Most of my friends should have heard that I was admitted to TTSH on Saturday at 2plus. Yeah, it was another scary experience, and it seemed I had been going in and out of hospital these days :( Haizzz...

It all started with a sore throat on last Wednesday (19/01/2011). I went to get some medicine on Thursday from the company doctor... But it didn't helped me, instead I started a very bad cough. I went to see the polyclinic on Friday and took a Medical Leave.

That fateful night, I started running a high fever. The fever remained persistent till Saturday morning. Since Laogong was still on MC that day (he was admitted to TTSH few days back too but got discharged on the same day), he decided to send me to TTSH A&E for a checkup. By then I was sneezing and coughing non-stop :( With a 38.5 to 39.8 degrees fever...I even started to vomit whenever I eat.

I remained under observation in the A&E until 8.30pm. I was put on drip and injected with anti-vomit medication. Felt better and could eat some food. However, my fever remained high. I was told they review my X-ray again and suspected I had chest infection and the virus had infected my lungs hence the fever was so persistent.

At 8.30pm, when the fever hit 39.4 degree even after medication, Doctor informed me that I need to be warded for 24 hr observation. I was then transferred to the EDTC. I continued to be in a half asleep mode.

Doctor was getting worried, and decided to inject me with some medication to forcefully reduce my temperature. It was only then, my fever was under control. After another dose of antibotic and medication, I was feeling better liao.

At 8.30am on Sunday morning (23/01/2011), Doctor told me I could be discharged. However, I had to be bed-rest for one week and go for my follow up checkup on Saturday at the nearest polyclinic.

I went home and continue to sleep for the day. Was pretty upset about it because had wanted to celebrate Laogong's birthday for him but I was too weak to do anything for him. Sighh...

Today is my third day of rest. Felt better but still quite sick, especially after having to get up at 3am to kept toweling Jamie with ice water. She started a fever on Tuesday afternoon out of a sudden. She was still cheerful in the morning but suddenly had a fever after an afternoon nap. And the fever was persistent too.

It worried us that she might have infected my chest infection but Doctor did not tell me anything about my illness being contagious :( Took her to see my family doctor and he gave her antibiotic.

Jamie was really cute. I was telling her she better eat her medicine if not Doctor will give her a painful injection. And she had been drinking up her medicine without struggling. She got better too after the antibiotic. Initially she was lying lethargically in our arms. But after one dose of medicine, she was already up and playful. However she is still very weak still.

Haizz... sob.. poor Jamie... And poor us... a family of sick people now :(

Thankfully Laogong's recovery rate was really fast.. if not wonder who can take care of me and Jamie :( coz even my helper was feeling sicky yesterday...

Pray that we all recover soon... And can enjoy our CNY...

Pray...

Jamie Can Walk~!!!

Was really thrilled to saw Jamie FINALLY stood up on her own and started walking with no support~!!!

She was short for her age and looked really 'cartoon' walking around the house. Being small for her age, she can even move around narrow 'paths' without much effort!

At first she would be worried to walk into pitch dark bedrooms but now she felt excited to explore her way all around the house~!!! And she refused to let us hold her hands anymore!

But I noticed she is still wary when she is out of the house. She would hold our hands tightly or even refuse to walk when she is out of the house. I brought her to the playground yesterday and she even sat down to 'feel' the texture of the ground before she attempted to walk on her own~!!!

Look at how Pretty My Little Princess has become :)








Check out her taking her first steps...
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1393936067167