Saturday, September 18, 2010

A Sicky Week...

I was not convinced that today was Friday...

Maybe coz I had a sicky week at work, so despite the week being super fast sailing, I was not excited when Friday comes.

However, the goggyness due to the medication did keep my spirit low, instead I was still working at my usual productivity (I think).

Was pretty excited to be given the chance to speak to PAs of Ministers and MPs and Chairmans or high-level personnels of various CCCs/GRCs. And I hope eventually I can speak to Ministers over the phone too!!! Hahaha...

Anyway, one more event to go for this period of the year, and we can slow down a bit and catch up on some backlog. Everything seems important, setting up the system, running the temple events and fighting fire everyday. All these work is tiring but make me feel alive.

I have to admit it's really not easy to juggle so many roles... As a woman, other than having to be a good mother, we need to be good daughters, good daughters-in-law, good wives, good employees, good employers, good managers etc etc etc... But ultimately, we have to be a good person too.

I guess having to be a good wife + mother + worker is really tough already, not to mention the other roles... Sometimes I wonder if I would be happier being a full time mother, but then I was then quite sure I won't be because I was really low on cash. If I were to be a stay-home mum I would not be able to shower Jamie with what I am showering her now too. Instead I would be blaming it on her everyday that I had to stay home all day to do the housework and take care of her.

And secretly I actually feel happier when I am at work. I feel that at home, there are too much stress over how we should behave etc because we need to set a role model for the child and also not to result in double-standard disciplinary actions. It's really not easy.

Frankly, I never wanted to become a shadow of my mother, hence I had many times hope that my Laogong can take over the role as a DM. But then, he does not seem to be very interested and yet disagreeable in some ways regarding the way I wish to discipline my child. Haizz...

Anyway, I guess it's still a long way ahead for me... And there will definitely be much more challenges coming my way... Thinking about it makes me tired already and don't feel like having another child.

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