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Friday, January 9, 2015

Enjoy Life's Uncertainties - Night at the Museum 3

Oops I was looking through my "blog backlog" and noticed I hadn't sent this movie review out. Oops... And it's already off screen. Nevertheless, it's a movie not to be missed like all of Ben Stiller's recent movies...

Movies never fails to give me new insights about life.. Sometimes, I even feel that my guardian angel is "speaking" to me via movies, because I always seem to be watching the "right" movies at the "right" time...or maybe I unknowingly watch the "right" movies to convince myself of my unconscious thoughts... 

At the beginning of the year, I watched two very meaningful movies. One is <Night at the Museum 3> and the other <Into the Woods>. I will share more about <Into the Woods> in another review. (Should I be able to find the energy to do so..)








I never missed any of the Night in the Museum Movies since year 2006. It was the year I got legally married and entered a new stage of my life. I knew I wanted to marry my Laogong all along but I didn't expect him to propose to me earlier than I expected him to. Afterall he just graduated from NTU back then and was still studying in NIE. I was his only girlfriend (for 6 years by then) but I thought maybe he should still experience work life first before he decided if he is "ready" for a lifelong commitment. I didn't want him to propose to me because he knew I wanted him to and had waited patiently for him to ask for my hand. 

Life was uncertain but exciting. Laogong and I even tried backpacking and travelled 30hours by bus from Singapore to Bangkok, after our ROM. It was really fun trying to solve the "challenges" as they came. We almost couldn't find the air tickets back to Singapore before my vacation leave ended :P

But somehow the excitement didn't last very long. We slowly get sucked into the stress of ensuring financial stability. We had to save up to hold our wedding dinner in year 2008, had our first child in year 2009 and renovated our new house in year 2011. 

Things got worse when I ended up in a job which I liked very much but seemed to have no light down the tunnel. Everything I thought was "real", was actually an "illusion". Everything I tried so hard to do to get it "right", actually was "wrong" from the start. 

I became a very unhappy person because I became frightened by the uncertainties in my life. Everything that used to seem right became all wrong. I started to doubt my judgement and I started to also doubt if I could have made better decisions as a good wife, mother and person.. 

But lately, I started to realize maybe I was actually on the right track all along. The track I presumed suited me, was actually not going to work out no matter how hard I tried. Maybe I was then just too engrossed in my "box" and was too eager to seek the sense of belonging, that I lost my "six sense" to detect that things were "not right" from the beginning. 

I now believe that things were meant to be. I was meant to go through the stress and unhappiness, so that I can emerge to become a better person and to learn to appreciate what I already have. I am glad I was actually "saved" :P I am glad I didn't stubbornly continue to "blind myself". I am glad I have really many 贵人 aka angels around me to guide and enlighten me. 

Thank you all who have sincerely encouraged and coached me. Thank you for your faith and 打抱不平... I will always remember your kindness and guidance. 

I also understand myself a bit better after doing the personalities test on http://www.16personalities.com. Everything that I do and feel suddenly make sense. I started to accept that we can't be in control of everything. And we should not blame ourselves for everything that didn't worked out the way we wish it does. 

Recently, someone also reminded me of something, which I thought through and agreed is very true. She said that no matter how hard we try, we cannot stop someone from wanting to judge us. And we are unable to control how the person want to judge us too. So why should we be bothered or be upset about something we cannot control? I know that fearing to be judged is what always makes me "freeze". But this year, I tell myself that I need and want to "defrost" myself and "Let it Go". 

<Night in the Muesum 3> seems to be telling people to step out of their comfort zones, to explore the unknown and to enjoy the uncertainties in life. The only constant in life is the change itself..  The unknown is what makes life interesting isn't it? If our everyday life is merely following a regime, we will soon get bored of life. It's the unknown and the uncertainties that makes every new day worth looking forward to. 

<Night in the Museum 3> also teaches me that when my children grow up, I should let them explore their lives and not force them to follow the "conventional" track. Maybe they will make mistakes and maybe they will fall but the learning through experiencing lives is priceless..

It's a great movie and Ben Stiller is a very good actor/comedian! His other recent movie about Mitty Wartor, makes me want to let go of everything and just run into the "wild" to "live my life". But I guess it's a bit hard for the next 13-16 years.  However I am also someone who believes there must be a way to try and juggle my role as me, a wife and a mother, it's just that I haven't found the "right" way to. I will not give up and I will continue to learn to be a better person, wife and mother. I may fall again but "Success is not measure by how many times we fall down but measure by how fast we get up After we fall down..."

Well, the reason I am still standing here instead of running away, is what makes me me ^^ Let's all enjoy the fear.. The uncertainties and the unknown...and take control of how you want to react to challenges... ^^ 

Saturday, January 3, 2015

迎接2015


一眨眼,新的一年的第一个月就过去了。照理由我通常是会在新的一年的第一天写一个“回顾篇”, 但是这次例外。
因为我知道回顾只会在自己的伤口上撒盐。

但是犯贱的人们,不就时常需要这种自虐才懂得珍惜还拥有的一切吗?

一月一日,对很多人来说是新的一年的开始。对我来说除了想念故人,同时也包含了感恩与期待。

想念故人
家公离开我们已经六个月了。。。每当过节或家庭聚会时就特别感慨,都会不经意地想“如果他还在的话,应该会很开心吧?” Jamie 有时还是会问 “爷爷,在哪里?” 最近一次我们趁冬至的时候带着两个小孩前去祭拜。当 Jamie 听到我们要去“看”爷爷时,她真的很开心。可是到了骨灰塔里,她又不明白到底是怎么一回事。我们也真的不知道要怎么和她解释,而我们的心都还在刺痛着。

感恩与期待
我很庆幸自己鼓起了勇气,离开了让自己不快乐的地方。虽然不知道现在的平静会持续多久,但重要的是我现在比从前快乐!很向往学习新的一切,迎接新的未来。感恩给予我机会翻身的贵人!

除了感恩与期待,对于新的一年也保持着希望。。。 

学习快乐
三年多来一直闷在心里,很不快乐。一直以为是自己哪里做得不好;一直自责自己是家人的累赘。一直让老公担心我,也让老公自责为什么他没法让我快乐。现在我离开了让我不快乐的地方,重新让自己觉得自己是个有用的人。我告诉自己今年我要重新学习快乐。我也要让我周围的人也快乐。

青春永驻
哈哈!我想这是每个女人都想达到的。这么努力才瘦下来的我,更希望自己的努力不会白费。所以加油、加油、加油!

家人健康
前两年家人陆续生病。今年希望家人都可以健健康康。健康就是福!

享受未知数
因为不喜欢未知数,所以一直处于害怕的状态。老公告诉过我,即使我害怕又有什么用?因为每个明天还是未知数。如果我们可以预知未来,那么就不会有 “惊喜” 了。什么事都在意料之内或许可以给你稳定的生活,但是生活也就会变得无趣。所以我们应该在有生之年珍惜拥有的一切,也感恩偶尔还有“好的”惊喜。 

对于“不好”的惊喜,就当作倒霉“哈哈”大笑了事。不然我们就会一直为被“不好”的惊喜困扰,更害怕未知数。。。

那么您又是以什么心情迎接新的一年呢?