Having running nose now and my throat hurts too. And today was a bad day for me. Apart from the cases that poured in like flood, I also started to panic about my competencies.
Many will think I am coping okay and just need time to catch up on work. After all, 4 months is not short and there had been restructuring during my absence.
Maybe I am asking too much of myself? Maybe I am pushing myself too hard? Maybe I should just stop trying to prove I am not as bad as I thought I am?
I always tell myself, if others can, so can I. Even if it means extra effort, I feel happy being able to achieve what other people can. In a way, I believe God is fair. We are made differently but yet our different strengths and weaknesses actually help us to catch up on each other.
I may not be as gifted as many, but I was given the gift of perseverance and determination. You can even call it stubbornness. But I had made it this far with this gift. I may take a very long time just to catch up but as long as I don't give up, I always have the chance to catch up.
Today, someone told me that if one day we find ourselves needing to work so hard until it burns us and affect our health, we should start to find another job which we can be more competent in = a job that needs lesser effort to achieve the same result. This brings me back to the same question - Is this our cup of tea?
But if we just settle down in our comfort zone, will we ever become a better person? Since we are already competent in what we are doing, are we going to become complacent?
That will then be another can of worms...